The Joys & Gems in the Rubble of Sex Addiction


Discovering sex addiction in your marriage hurts like no other pain experienced in life. It stabs; pierces; rips; shreds; and destroys your dreams and beliefs about your most sacred bond with another human being. Yet this side of my own heartache and loss, every day of my life I am privileged to find beautiful gems in the devastation and rubble of other women’s broken lives and dreams. Each day I learn anew that the world is full of wonderful, amazing women, though many of you are temporarily out of touch with your own miraculous beauty, value, and worth.

One of my greatest pleasures in life comes from listening to women’s stories, letting them pour out the pain they are presently enduring, then walking with them for several months as I seek to guide them on their own journey toward healing, renewed belief in themselves, and a new dream for a life filled with joy and purpose, even if their husbands don't choose that path along with them.

I have the wonderful joy of helping this healing happen in loving community; in small, safe, confidential groups that grow to love you. This "family of sisters" provides the ideal community for healing the heartbreak sex addiction brings. Women "...need to be frequently reminded of who they are by those who love them," write the authors of Living from the Heart that Jesus Gave You. They "...need real, live, loving spiritual families to heal, to grow and to thrive."

And in that environment anything becomes possible--even beginning to see yourself the way I see you--the way God sees you: as a precious, beautiful, sparkling gem with incredible value and worth, no longer defined by your husband's mistakes and choices. "Once people know who they truly are and understand the power and beauty of their God-given characteristics, their passion, purpose, talents, and pain will all come together and begin to define specifically who they are," continue the authors quoted above.

I guess you could say I've become a gemologist who finds magnificent stones in the strangest of places! My prayer for you is that you will one day be able to see yourself as I see you--and as God sees you: as the beautiful, rare, valuable gem whom God has gifted with a unique story and a very special life-purpose.